I had a five-hundred dollar day today, mainly car.
Something else that will be costing me money in the coming months will be Burrett. In light of recent drunken events I have decided to, instead of becoming more responsible, drinking in moderation and being less of a sloshed retard to, instead, hire Burrett as my drinking caddy. He'll be responsible for staying sober and documenting everything I do while drunk and then driving me home. The next morning he will tell me, hopefully through a nifty powerpoint presentation or something, exactly what I got up to the night before. In return I will pay for his World of Warcraft account. Although I think he should do it for free because me drunk is entertainment on its own. I make some great jokes when I'm drunk. I often make the same joke nine or ten times, so logically that's nine or ten times the funny. I'll resist the urge to write that line another eight or nine times and instead just be satisfied by the fact that eight or nine is about the number of commas I used in that previous sentence.

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