This is a Hidden Entry

I've had a lot to think about in the past few weeks. I like thinking on the internet or in front of others or just out loud if I have to, it makes things easier.

One of the things on my list of features to add to Bradism was hidden entries that only I could see. Why I decided that storing things on the internet is more efficient than in my brain... well... time does tell.

As fun as it is to psychoanalyse yourself everyday - and it is - doing it online forces you to engage in much stricter justification for your actions than your brain does when it knows no one else will ever hear your thoughts. Seeing as I haven't had time to code hidden entries nor write down some of the things I've been thinking lately, this is pretty much a summary of the hidden entries that would have been posted over the last fortnight had I ever had the time to code.

• I live my life like a sitcom. This is probably because I grew up with television as my primary role model. I first...
  
• Apparently my relationship is less fucked up than I think. When asked if I'd got back together with Tegan by my Dad a week since I’d last talked to him, I initially thought he was referring to the break up a few days earlier. In actual fact he was talking about the break up two weeks ago. He asked what week it was and I said 'TV Week'. Maybe it's the fact that an on-again/off-again relationship seems to cliché to be real that...
  
• When Mum checked to make sure that I hadn’t got back together with Tegan just because she was upset, I embarrassedly explained that it was actual ‘woman feelings’ that had swayed my mind. Although in hindsight, I seriously can’t tell if I looked into her pleading eyes, kissed her and said "let’s not give up" because I love her or because I thought it would sound really dramatic and would probably be effective in a movie about...
  
• live by the sword - die by the sword. My first ever relationship came about because I was writing a sitcom about dating and I figured I needed a decent reference for material. Mistakes were made...
  
• Here's a faggy insight. When I do something, I try and do it perfectly no matter how interested I truly am. It's a characteristic that means that even if something's not that important to me I'll appear that I'm completely committed to it. This lasts until I evaluate that my quality of life benefits from not doing that thing and then I drop it straight away. This is why people sometimes get confused when I...
  
• Is love confusing or is it confusion? I want to be alone, but I also don’t want her to leave. I want to stretch out but I also want to have my arms wrapped around her. Am I confused because I’m in love or in love because I’m confused? I hate not getting to the bottom of things…
  
• So if I am in love why would I not care if it ended tomorrow? I...
  
• Never post about jobs or girlfriends in the public journal. This is especially true when the public journal is actually known about by…
  

Right now my journal feels like it’s been driven ten kilometres below the speed limit to the shops twice a week and to church on Sundays.