If anyone wonders why the Socceroos have 7 Croatian players it's because 7 dudes from Croatia live in Australia.

The soccer was intense last night. 0:0 at half time. 3:3 at full time. No goals in the extra period. Australia beats Italy 5:4 in the penalty shootout. Lady Sovereign's "9-5" chavs up my room as Australian players do their pre-programmed dance across the monitor and the option to replay or quit to main menu comes up. I almost missed the start of the actual soccer because of that goal that Totti scored in the 89th minute to equalise and send the game into extra time. Nevertheless I have probably not yelled at my computer that much since ten weeks ago when Ballard signed onto MSN the exact second after I selected shut down from the start menu.

Alas EA Sports' 'FIFA World Cup 2006' can have no bearing on real life save making me spazz out like a maniac as I drive hurriedly to The Vic to watch Italy play Australia in the Round of 16. Post midnight kick-offs on work nights be damned, I wasn't going to miss out on a piece of Australian history! I figured I'd get there, have a beer, leave at half time with Australia 3:0 down and 32 years later tell my unplanned children "I was there!"

I hate soccer. It's such a stupid game. Yes, it's skilful and there can be good goals and they're fit, athletic, but it's still stupid. One night whist camping and drinking Josh and I began playing a game of Trouble with alternative rules. We had reasoned that if you needed a 6 to get a guy out of home then (logically) getting a 1 would mean having to put him back in. Although I can't remember the other rules in detail there were four land mines that also sent pieces back home (played by white M&Ms) that you could move around the board when you didn't have any guys out (which was pretty common). We played 'Cunt', as it became affectionately know as, until we ran out of alcohol and neither of us managed to get a piece to the goal.

The game was fun enough, but obviously we never played it again. Although some skill and strategy was involved it was just too fucking hard to reach the goal. However in a scenario where 'Cunt' was played regularly after our fathers, and our father's fathers and all our friends played it so often that it became part of our way of life, you can imagine how passionate we could be about it. And sure, we could place mines perfectly and execute flawless piece formation as we travel around the board... then still lose because your opponent just hits four consecutive sixes and gets one guy halfway around the board in one go. But it'd be stupid.

I think the ending of last nights game was perfect. Not because I support Italy or want Australia out or anything. I think it's great because it says "Check it out Australia; this is the game you're following." It also means I can get more sleep again. Finally, the game was entertaining as fuck and I think Australia have really added something to this World Cup at least. Still, bad luck boys. Maybe now this country can ignore soccer again... time to turn our focus to World Cunt Championships, Sri Lanka 2009.