I'm Domesticated

After eating an apple a day for what seems like months, I decided to engage in a fruit mix-up and bought some oranges at the start of this week.

However it was only this morning, after I finished my thing of yoghurt and pulled the orange out of my drawer that I realised... I have no idea how to eat this fucking thing.

Imagery flashed before me; for some reason I believed it might be incredibly juicy and literally leak all over the desk if I punctured it. That was assuming I could actually work out how to properly remove the skin from it. Frightened, I reached for the phone and dialled 0, 0 and hesitated over the third zero.

Thank God for the internet. I changed my mind and turned to my IM contact list and beseeched Bradism No. 3 commenter Zoe for advice. She was equally clueless, but thankfully a quick Google search produced accurate results. And as the internet specified I began using my spoon to peel small portions of rind off. As each section ripped off I cringed in fear of the surely impending geyser of juice. It never came. All in all morning tea took about 45 minutes.

Up until today I figured that if I was trapped in the wilderness I, given my general health and ingenuity, would do well enough to survive. I think this misconception was finally truly shattered about 3 minutes into eating that orange when all nearby heard me mutter "what the hell... there are seeds in this thing?"