I've made a vow to cut swearing out of my vocabulary, following the last weekend, which was completely satisfying. However one of the main things I picked up across each day was how fluidly swearing occurred from everyone I met and how completely illiterate it made them sound. Swearing is so functionally versatile in its use that it is simple to replace vast portions of sentences with a curse. In effect it's murdering the English language at its very core. I know it must seem ironic for me to dismay about a decreasing use of the English language considering I have hardly posted in three weeks, but this is where I am restarting this fledgling publication and I'm not really concerned what you think of the idea.
I'm not fucking swearing anymore, following the last weekend, which was a fucking blast. However one of the main things I picked up each fucking day was how every cunt I met talked complete shit. Swearing is so fucking versatile in its use that it is simple as fuck to replace words or even fucking sentences with a cunt, fuck or shit. It's fucking the English language right up the cunt. I know I must seem a right cunt to give a shit about the fucking up of the English language when I have posted shit all in three weeks, but fuck it. I am restarting this cunt. So fuck you.
Examples from the weekend:
I'm totally 1ed.
I'm completely tired
I've consumed too much alcohol
That 1ing 3 just 1ed 2 up big time!
The drummer just broke his cymbal!
I don't believe you
Chuck me that 3
Can you please pass me my towel?
I'm going to stay in bed for another 15 minutes
2, I dropped the 3 out of this 1ing... thing.
Unfortunately I have dropped the curried portion of my curried egg on the ground.
Note: It is interesting to observe that four days of not swearing I have already begun to lose my ability to swear properly, as evidenced in those poor examples.
Enjoy what you've read? Want to receive updates and publishing news in your inbox? Sign up to the bradism mailing list. You'll also receive an ebook, free!