Last night I was at a LAN, today I have a pink thumbernail, tonight I was at Josh's house doing hilarious hi-jinx with Craig's morals, the events of which can't be represented accurately via print.

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Brad

Reading this today reminded me of that hilarity, so I think I will recap that event just for my future smiling benefit.
We were drinking at Josh's that night, but the evening was very young and in fact not much drinking was even happening. So we got bored and decided to go visit Craig at SAFF Petrol station where he was working.
SAFF is a small station, and was completely empty when about four of us rocked up to visit him. Because Cowan and Craig worked there at the time, and with Tim basically ran the place between them, it was not uncommon for Cowan in particular to offer a free snack to those who paid him a visit.
Craig did not advocate this, however, and in fact it quietly pissed him off that Cowan would cheat his employers out of money. Obviously Craig has never worked at Woolworths. This background information leads to us arriving to an empty sans Craig SAFF that night.
We poked around for several minutes and I, being peckish and cheap, alluded to pinching a chocolate bar or two. Craig didn't take kindly to that, and the more I pushed it the more vocal and testy he became. In particular he was pissed that I would suggest I could take a mini-twix from the pick'n'mix. Even though it was like 30c retail, he still cared.
We hadn't been there long when Craig had to clean the store and said we should go now, he'd meet us at Josh's in 10 minutes. He then walked outside to do cleaning things and after a moment in the store without him we left.
At this point I formed the plan, and with the help of Mark, who was driving, we worked quickly to execute it and still beat Craig to Josh's, which would be tight.
We drove to the Shell service station and I went inside but they didn't have any pick'n'mix, so then we drove to Woolworths Petrol and they did. I spent $4 on mini-twix, which got me about 16 mini-twix in total. I then stuffed them all in my pockets and we raced back to Josh's arriving minutes before Craig and barely having time to sit around casually before he walked in.
Craig sat down and started talking about something boring, during which Mark, Sam, Steve and Josh all subtly hinted towards me having stolen from SAFF. All the while I did my best to look suspicious.
Eventually Craig picked up on the hints, and when he asked half-seriously if I'd taken anything, I acted quite professionally in giving the impression that I had and I was nervous about his interrogation. This did not amuse Craig, and he steadily got worked up about me abusing his trust, his morals and being an asshole. He then gave me the perfect cue, he said "Brad, if you have taken anything, just give it to me and I will put it back on the shelf tomorrow. Ok??
I sighed, step forward and reached into my pocket, producing one mini-twix. He sighed. "Thank you, I..."
I reached into my deep pockets and pulled out two more.
"I..."
Using both hands now, in a rhythm, with a deadpan look on my face I slowly pulled out mini-twix after mini-twix and piled them on the table in front of him. As the pile grew his mouth dropped as he failed to comprehend the audacity I must have had to fill every spare pocket on my body with mini-twix. He was close to beginning a full blown spurt of rage when he finally came to notice the laughter coming from all those around him.
"Why are they all laughing?" he asked.
"I bought these." I smiled.
And then we all laughed and had mini-twix.

August 24 2005 - Like
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