My first impressions of Whitehaven were not awe at the spectacular landscape, nor sighs of contentment at the tropical paradise so far from home. No - I needed to pee after being rushed off the big boat and then onto the small boat for a 30 minute jolt along the cove.
This was partly my fault, as I'd prioritised lining up for cookies instead of using the head, and partly the fault of all the people in the line who weren't on the full day tour who were disobeying instructions and getting cookies ahead of me.
Our tour guide, who was operating on the opposite of island time, marched us from one side of the cove to the other. I took in the white sand under the blue skies, and regretted drinking that free bottle of water after that extra large coffee.
Eventually the tour took us to some lookouts and a set of long drops. There was quite a queue. The coves of Whitehaven were like Normandy, the boats dropping off the tourists as the helicopters passed by over head.
The long drops, so thoughtfully placed kilometres of land and sea away from civilisation, were being widely panned by the crowd of people before me.
There were 18 heads (and 4 toilets) in front of me (I counted due to cookie greed), and everyone seemed disgusted by the problem they were about to directly contribute to.
I returned to the lookouts and enjoyed the vantage with more patience. It was a beautiful place and the weather was great. The third most photographed location in Australia, apparently. I have some doubts. Unless you're going by the percentages of people visiting. Then, probably yes.
Following our landing boat taking us back to Whitehaven south, we swam briefly in the crystal clear water before enjoying copious meats and salad to follow up the cookies.
The cruise team had a great business idea keeping people on the island for the afternoon sun, while selling cans of beer at a premium from a big cooler.
Instead we undertook one of our favourite activities together - long walks on the beach.
Whitehaven stretches over 7 kilometres of pure white, silica sand.
The further we walked, the more peaceful it became. The tour operators and their flocks were content to linger at the south end with the boats and the beers and the other long drops and the giant size Connect Four.
Whitehaven's silica sand is famous for its exhilarating properties. After 12 kilometres of walking, my soles were feeling pretty smooth.
Eventually we were all alone, or close enough to it. Blue sky. Blue water. White sand. No internet reception.