So obviously being cut up and teeth gnashing gets difficult to drag out over more than a couple of days. Still, I've compiled a list of possible suspects for the unrequested painting of my car:

• MIA, who I once accused of being crazy in a journal entry. And she does know how to use the internet, sort of.... Alibi: Was playing Bonnaroo last Friday...
  
• Camille - A French singer who I also gave a negative review in Rip It Up a few weeks ago. Is an artist and seems to be a least a little crazy. At this stage, prime suspect.
  
• Zoe. Former Bradism.com commenter, now St. Kilda supporter. She sent me an angry text message last weekend after I SMS'd her the Western Bulldogs theme song in all caps. Alibi: grew up in Queensland so it's doubtful she has that much football passion.
  
• Zippo. Number 1 Bradism.com commenter who would predict that Zoe would be mentioned instead of her, despite her having more comments, thus causing rage. Alibi: way too nice, also this scenario is kind of recursive.
  
• Professor Plum. I stole his carpark when I drove to work on Thursday.
  
• Forlorn looking woman in Marion carpark. I went there last week and as I was reversing from my spot to get home I noticed her standing with a puzzled look in front of an empty car space. I didn't have time to help her and find out if her car was stolen. Mainly because I'm not a detective.
  
• Karl the Painter. May have discovered what I wrote about him a few summers ago and is now more assertive and wants revenge. Evidence: has access to paint.
  
• Craig Lowndes. Motive: Doesn't like Holden.
  

I have a few other suspects, but they're kind of drawing a long bow.