Climate Change Victim

I wait eleven months a year for days like today. Cool mornings, nice in the sunshine when there's not a chilly gust. I have long-sleeve T-shirts in my wardrobe literally hanging out waiting for this tiny sliver of weeks where they're appropriately comfortable.

Alas I must have read one too many El Niño doomsday articles during that 35 degree weekend at the start of October. I believed the hype and for some reason I picked out a polo shirt before I walked out of the house today to gray skies.

I instantly regretted it. To add to the insult I was swooped by birds on the way to the train station who spotted my short sleeves and goosebumps from a hundred metres away and felt the need to give me haircut to remind me it was still Spring, mofo.


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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.


- - -

I was heading out of the office for a lunchtime stroll and I had already put my new noise cancelling headphones on. They're like polarised sunglasses for my ears. It's amazing.

As I walked towards the exit I passed a co-worker who said something to me. I heard none of it, due to the noise cancelling. I turned back, took the headphones off my ears and I asked him to repeat.

He told me he has the exact same headphones, and that their noise cancelling power is amazing.

It was pleasant small talk, but I'm not sure if it was ironic.

Pineapple, I'm Home!

I was expecting another Summer of banana and honey smoothies for breakfast every day until fate intervened. A single pineapple ring that hadn't fit onto the previous night's pizza was left in the fridge. I substituted the honey's sweetness for the pineapple today and I discovered a WHOLE. NEW. WORLD.

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