The Horrible Truth Uncovered

I was returning to bed from the toilet sometime this morning, when it was too dark to consider checking the time. I found my side of the bed blanketless, which was how I'd left it. But it was cooler now.

Luckily my eyes were adjusted to the dark, and I could make out two distinct blankets wrapped around my wife. My fingers were nimble enough to pry them apart, and my shoulders had the strength and leverage to pull a blanket over my legs while lying down, conquering the resistance of Vanessa's death grip on the material.

So smooth was this operation that it barely registered in my brain and I was immediately falling asleep again. Until I realised how many generations of natural selection and frozen, dead men there must have been over the millennia for me to have evolved with the physical traits needed for blanket rescue.